My favourite Julian Manyon story

Julian ManyonEvery­one has one. I have one that’s repeat­able. Julian was the reporter who got the hair-dryer treat­ment from Robert Mugabe in Sharm el-Sheik.

Julian can take it. He’s a former col­league and most decidedly not a pack operator.

Let’s just say he doesn’t rely on favours from com­pet­it­ors to get the job done.

I hold him in huge — but sneak­ing — regard. Only Lara Logan ever really got the bet­ter of him, and that was in Afgh­anistan.

But I digress. The favour­ite story was related to me in the café at the Rossiya (not an attract­ive place) from the Rus­sian bur­eau chief of a major news agency.

It was a very sober even­ing, and my Rus­sian friend (who did not hold Julian in sneak­ing — or any — regard) delivered it very much as a tale of his own defeat.

The scene? A bunch of journos are try­ing des­per­ately to get into Grozny in the mid-nineties.

A Rus­sian sol­dier — cigar­ette to lip, rifle slung — is hold­ing them back at a check­point that marks the end of the Rus­sian lines.

JM — a strap­ping 6′-something — grabs his long-suffering trans­lator, the 5′-something Oleg, and marches past the assembled press pack to con­front the sentry.

Julian inflates him­self to his full apo­pleptic height, and barks in the man’s face some­thing to the effect of — “I am Julian Manyon of ITN and I demand that you let me in to bear wit­ness to the suf­fer­ing of the people of Grozny.” All delivered in per­fectly incom­pre­hens­ible English.

The sol­dier con­tin­ues smoking, but doesn’t blink.

Julian turns to his trans­lator and orders — “Oleg! Trans­late that!”

Oleg shrugs and in resigned but impec­cable Rus­sian, he nods in Julian’s dir­ec­tion and says to the sol­dier: “This man is the biggest $%#* in the west­ern media. If you let him in, someone might just shoot him.”

The sen­try purses his lips, raises the cigar­ette slowly to his mouth, and then beck­ons Julian. The bar­rier goes up and the ITN team are waved through. No one else.

My Rus­sian friend and his col­leagues are left click­ing their heels at the check­point. Beaten.

And the moral is? If you want mor­als go to church.

3 thoughts on “My favourite Julian Manyon story

  1. Yes!…I know this dick!!

    He used to live next to me in Albert Street, and was com­monly known by the local res­id­ents as ‘the catsnatcher’!

    You see…when he moved into Albert Street, he didn’t like the neigh­bours cats con­tinu­ing to be in his garden, so he decided to remove the neigh­bours cats cour­tesy of a bas­ket in his garden provided to him (and later taken away from him) by the RSPCA.

    There was also ‘psy­cho­lo­gical’ war­fare such as play­ing his water hose dir­ectly onto my mother’s roses to kill them off when he felt he wasn’t get­ting his way.

    I’m sorry I was so young at the time, and not old enough to punch him on the nose…I think this guy had some ‘ser­i­ous issues’!!

    I remem­ber the neigh­bour next door to me not being able to find his cat, and using my garden to climb over to retrieve his cry­ing cat trapped in Manyon’s cat bas­ket ‘trap’!

    Need­less to say…he was not very well liked by his neighbour’s for ‘obvi­ous’ reas­ons and made the local paper for behav­ing a pratt!!

  2. I happened to spend some­time in late 2001 and early 2002 with this psyche in Afgh­anistan. One hardly finds a pos­it­ive point in this lun­atic. I used to work as inter­preter dur­ing that period. He was all show off. Hon­estly, he was metally insolv­ent and used to get jeal­ous of Lara Logan, the bril­liant and tal­en­ted reporter of chan­nel 4 at that time who was far bey­ond this man’s capa­city and tal­ent. This mad man used to get scared very eas­ily but was always try­ing to hide his fear.

    I remem­ber how this man was impressed by his local driver and was under con­stant pres­sure and fear while mov­ing around. This made him blindly fol­low this driver who was mak­ing fun of him. We saved him so many times of being beaten.

    This char­ac­ter does not believe in respect­ing oth­ers. Even his col­leagues were suf­fer­ing from his beha­vior and stu­pid­ity. He was a failed story com­pared to fel­low journ­al­ist Lara Logan.

    • Jan!…I do empath­ise and sym­path­ise with you; hav­ing lived next door to this man I do under­stand where you are com­ing from with this!…

      From per­sonal exper­i­ence, may I say your com­ments come as no sur­prise to me at all!.…in fact to the con­trary, it’s the sort of beha­viour expec­ted of the man!

      My only sur­prise is that more people have not come for­ward, but boy…bet they would have some stor­ies to tell!!

      I never thought much of ITN after Manyon!…come on, let’s be fair and face facts; how can you take such a chan­nel ser­i­ously when he’s liv­ing next door to you snatch­ing people’s pets, and behav­ing like a moron on the one hand, and then be expec­ted to believe that he can be cap­able of giv­ing a ‘bal­anced’ and ‘rational view’ report­ing world affairs over­seas? Doesn’t add up…does it?!

      …do you blame me??

      As far as I’m con­cerned, any organ­isa­tion who employs this man should be aware that this is a liab­il­ity to do so as it will be put­ting their cred­ib­il­ity, as well as those of his col­leagues at risk!

      …whoops, did I say colleagues? :-)

      The cat­snatcher of Albert Street, NW1 will never be forgotten!!

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