Mohammed al-Fayed has been on NBC’s Today Show denouncing the Stevens’ inquiry into the Paris crash that killed his son, Princess Diana, and driver Henri Paul. Stevens, says al-Fayed, was blackmailed by the security services to produce a whitewash.

Al-Fayed has lost a son, and as a human being he deserves our sympathy. But the sad truth is his son might still be alive today had he:

a) buckled up
b) not been driven by someone who’d been drinking

Al-Fayed claims that Prince Philip commissioned MI6 to kill Diana. The Duke of Edinburgh hasn’t responded to these bizarre, grief-stricken claims, but there is no doubt that he is a deeply unsympathetic public figure who has gunned down hundreds, probably thousands of wildfowl.

But apart from the fact that the only survivor of the crash was wearing a seat-belt, there is the horrible, awful truth that the British royal family would be up to their armpits in blood if al-Fayed’s claims were true.

Were they homicidally inclined, they have been humiliated, mocked, lambasted and railed against enough to keep a team of assassins in almost constant employ.

And al-Fayed himself has survived against all odds to make his wild, pained accusations. And the media, against all his conspiracy theories, is happy to air them.