When Channel 5 News launched nearly ten years ago, some of the turgid independent films we were obliged to air were produced by a company that spent so little money on them we feared they were filmed, directed and produced by the researcher. Turns out they were. Step forward budget TV boy, Dan Chambers. Making low quality television for next to nothing can only take you so far – like the Director of Programmes office at five. Chambers, it turned out, was likeable and witty. But on the margins of British television you need more than Simon Cowell hair, and there’s only so much CSI a man can buy. The expensive new look for Fifth Gear just wasn’t enough to keep his place at the table. So it’s so long, Longacre. But something tells me we haven’t seen the last of Dan Chambers.

Meanwhile the Flextech-isation of five continues apace with Lisa Opie joining Jane Lighting. Opie left Flextech after hearing that familiar whistling sound of someone coming in over your head. But for now there’s five’s mini-multi-channel strategy to be pored over, about as substantial and appealing as the broken biscuit bottom of an iced gem.